Are you looking to improve your sexual performance and satisfaction but don’t know where to start? If so, you’re in luck because the knowledgeable Erik Everhard joins us for his second appearance on The Down and Dirty Podcast to dive into all things sex! As a men’s coach with a background in the adult industry, Erik knows a thing or two about sexual mastery.
Join Celeste and Erik in this captivating conversation as they get into the 3 layers of sexual satisfaction, why apparatus choice matters in sexual performance, and how all men are capable of delivering great sexual experiences. He also breaks down the sensory experience of different types of vaginas and why it is important to figure out which type you respond to!
This episode is a juicy one and every man can benefit from implementing the wide range of sexual knowledge that he shares in this episode!
In this week’s episode, we discuss:
[01:37] About Erik Everhard
[03:29] Where Erik’s teachings come from
[06:40] Improving sexual satisfaction is more than just working on communication
[11:54] The honesty of enjoyment in real life vs the adult industry
[17:29] The four different types of vaginas
[26:47] Sexual satisfaction based on position and anatomy
[28:30] “Master the pussy, master the woman”
[32:34] What can we expect to learn in “The Everhard Academy”?
[36:23] The impact of different condoms on performance
[38:19] All men are capable of delivering great sexual experiences
[45:57] Why apparatus choice matters
[48:25] How physical fitness and lifestyle correlate to being effective in the bedroom
[55:04] What knowledge will the students of the academy walk away with?
[57:56] Erik’s ideal date
About Erik Everhard
Eric Everhard is an author, men’s coach, and a man who has experienced unparalleled success in the adult industry. As an actor, he has mastered the ability to decipher a woman’s body within moments of meeting her. This ability has led him to create mind-blowing orgasms, on and off-screen. He has walked the walk now he is here to share his expertise with you for the second time on The Down and Dirty Podcast!
Where Erik’s teachings come from
Erik has had countless experiences in the adult industry but the biggest takeaway is that he has learned from them. He had the conscious awareness to become in tune with what was working, what was not, how his body was responding, and ways to biohack to achieve a goal. He learned these methods through trial and error. When he was in the adult industry and everyone’s paycheck was relying on him withholding ejaculation, he figured this out fast. Sometimes in life when the stakes are high, this brings about new methods and ideas.
He says that he has a PhD from the 10,000 hours he has spent on his back and to him, this is way more valuable than going to school. He brings practical and actionable methods to his clients while also reminding them that 95% of performance in the bedroom is about mindset and your belief about your penis. You need to believe that he is going to rise the the occasion and this is created through position feedback loops.
Improving sexual satisfaction is more than just working on communication
The biggest lie that Erik has found in the sex coaching industry is that people say if you learn to communicate, everything is going to be better. But communication is not the only thing that improves sexual satisfaction. He states that there are 3 layers to sexual satisfaction: sexual alignment, sexual chemistry, and sexual compatibility.
Sexual alignment is a fixed biology piece. We cannot convince ourselves of sexual alignment, it just is. The next layer, sexual chemistry, is energy pheromones. The last layer, sexual compatibility, is where communication comes into play. Communication was not relevant in the first two layers so sexual satisfaction cannot only be fixed by communication. For sexual satisfaction, you need to know how your body works and the other person’s cues, because it all comes back to feeling.
Erik explains that sex has so many different levels to it including the physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual. But fundamentally, sex is a physical act. We need to start with the sensations because if not, we are not going to be interested. Getting in tune with someone’s body and noticing what makes them feel good exceeds communication.
The honesty of enjoyment in real life vs the adult industry
Erik has found that in the porn industry, people are much more honest with each other. This is because there is no emotional connection and you are seen as co-workers. People are straight up and they tell you what they like and do not like.
In real-life relationships, he finds it is much harder for people to be honest about what they like or do not like. They do not want to tell their partner that they suck because of fear. For example, your partner might not be good at oral sex but you do not want to tell them. Then this creates a problem because, in the other person’s mind, they are doing a great job. Then they get stuck in this loop of doing the same thing because they thought it was good. Erik and Celeste share that we need to voice what we want and like to improve our sexual experiences.
The four different types of vaginas
We have all heard that tighter is better, but this is not always true. Erik found this revelation as he was filming a scene with 2 women. He found that when he was with one woman, he could hold off from ejaculating for 30 minutes. When he was with the other, he could not be with her for longer than a few minutes. He asked himself “What is the difference here?”
Through his experience, he has narrowed down four different types of vaginas. If we look at this range as an equalizer on a stereo system, you go from “-10 to 0 to +10”. Some women are on each end of the extremes and others are in the middle as far as internal skin texture. Just as each of us has a different skin texture, this is the same inside. Erik describes some as being more granular and others being more velvet-like. There is not one that is better than the other, it is all about sensory preference!
A man needs to know what he responds to as a basis for sexual experiences. If you start to understand what you like and that woman has it, you will not be thinking about the grass being greener. Just like women prefer a certain type of penis, there is a certain type of vagina that feels good for each man.
Sexual satisfaction based on position and anatomy
Erik shares that every woman is going to have positions that work and do not work based on their anatomy. You have to think about what your anatomy says and what the guy possesses to see what works for you. He shares that doggy might work with certain penises for certain women and then not with others. And that goes for every sexual position.
“Master the pussy, master the woman”
Celeste shares that a man needs to be able to master the clitoris because then at least you can make her orgasm. Erik often says “Master the pussy, master the woman”. This is not in a machiavellian sense but it is the fact that if men want to be the highest suitor out there, they have to know how to consistently make their woman orgasm. Women love consistency and most men are not consistent. This can change, they just have to learn how to focus on what they are doing and pay attention to what works and what does not.
He shares that women love vibrators for three reasons. Number one, they are staying right on the clitoris and that is it. Number two, they can find the correct rhythm for them and not sway from that. And three, it never stops. Women’s orgasms come like a wave in the ocean and he shares that if you stop pleasing her for a few seconds, all the time you spent before has been wasted. He shares that taking these principles around a vibrator and applying them to your tongue can help you improve sexual satisfaction.
What can we expect to learn in “The Everhard Academy”?
The academy is for any man who wants to improve in the bedroom. Erik wanted to create the ultimate educational portal for men where they could get support and lessons on the matter. This academy is a subscription model and there are currently 120 lessons such as:
-Mindset
-Women’s arousal
-Pussy eating
-Anal sex
-Proper positioning
-How to last longer
-How to stay hard
-Condoms
-Sexual diseases
-Threesomes
He also goes into practical material where he gives a play-by-play talking while he is doing things. He shares that men are visual creators and they need to see how to do it. He shows them his methods in a step-by-step process and shares why he is doing this. He also does group coaching sessions each month and there is a forum where you can ask your questions and celebrate your wins.
The impact of different condoms on performance
Erik talks a lot about condoms in his academy because most condoms are not good. Many men think that they have a problem with performing but it ends up being a condom that is hindering their performance. Then it becomes a psychological thing because they are not able to stay hard and they are wondering what is wrong with themselves. But if you do not have the right tools, then you cannot expect to perform at an elite level.
Being an actor in the adult industry, Erik learned fast that there was a difference between the regular condoms at your local pharmacy and boutique condoms. Some condoms allow you to perform better than others. He sees men talking about their “failures” in the bedroom, but this may have been because of a condom, not because of them. If you change what you are working with, your abilities to perform are going to skyrocket.
All men are capable of delivering great sexual experiences
Celeste shares that there is such a heavy burden on men when they cannot perform. This puts a lot of pressure on them the next time. Erik says that the burden of performance solely rests with the man when it comes to the bedroom. The woman decides to have sex but then it is up to men to be able to perform. This is not a bad thing though. Erik reminds us that men do not have to play the victim, they can ask themselves “What do I have to do to deliver?” Then when they understand what it is going to take, they can create new experiences and build positive feedback loops. All men are capable they just need the right direction and tools!
Why apparatus choice matters
In the academy, Erik talked about apparatus choice and why it matters. He broke down all of the different places you could be having sex and the positives and negatives of all of them. Men are not thinking about how this choice could impact them. Let’s say that you are a man who is struggling to hold back your ejaculation. Now you are having sex in a car and you are limited in what you can do. You cannot use sleight of hand or oral sex, and you only have a few functional positions. This makes it a poor apparatus choice for that person.
Men need to know what they need at the moment and set themselves up for success. If you know that you ejaculate quickly, choose a place where you can have more control over the situation. This will help you from a mental standpoint because if you are stacking wins, then you feel like a winner. Erik reminds us that men need to take control over as many things as they can such as condom choice, supplements they are taking, food intake, their position, etc.
How physical fitness and lifestyle correlate to being effective in the bedroom
Erik shares with us that he was the heaviest kid in school growing up. Once he lost the weight he promised himself he was never going to be heavy like that again. He shares with us that physical fitness and diet massively impact your ability to get hard. And if you are not fit enough to use certain sexual positions, you could be limiting yourself. There is also a lot of shame that comes with not being physically fit. A man may not want to take his shirt off and will not feel as confident if he is not fit. Erik also talks about having an “athlete’s mindset” in the bedroom. If you think of yourself as a sexual athlete, you are going to perform better.
What knowledge will the students of the academy walk away with?
When someone joins “The Everhard Academy” they will walk away with knowledge in various areas. They will learn all the signals and the abilities to make over 85% of women orgasm. They will also learn to have conscious control over their ejaculation so they can choose when it happens. They will understand positions and which ones are best for maximum clitoral stimulation. Erik reminds us that it is important that we close the orgasm gap because most men ejaculate in 5 minutes and women take 13. But this gap can be closed easily with the right knowledge and tools.
Men are also going to learn how to give their women pain-free anal sex using the push pause methodology and so much more! It is an all-encompassing program for men so they can completely master the bedroom and please their woman.
Erik’s ideal date
Erik would love to walk down some cobblestone streets in an old city in Europe and admire the architecture!
Connect with Erik:
Unleash Your Sexual Superpowers: A Porn Star’s Guide to Sexual Mastery
Unlocking Sexual Satisfaction with Erik Everhard
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