Do you ever feel like you and your partner (or loved one) are on totally separate pages when it comes to showing love? One this episode of the podcast, I”ll be discussing each of the 5 Love Languages. We’re going to dive into their history, how each language receives love, the importance of using Love Languages as a tool for a successful relationship, and date ideas for that special someone in your life.

This episode, we discuss:

[03:50] Why the Love languages are not a cure-all for relationships

Love Languages are useful tools in communicating and expressing love for ourselves and to each other. While they provide a good place to start showing love, they aren’t the total solution for relationship happiness. The love languages can set couples on a journey to meet each other in a more profound way, and help with self-regulation, but the work doesn’t stop there. Once you’re able to understand your partner’s love language, a great next step would be to put that knowledge to good use and practice expressing love to your partner in their love language. This can be tricky if their love language isn’t the same as yours, so it will take time and effort, all of which your partner will appreciate.

[04:40] Love languages in all relationships

Love languages aren’t just for romantic partners. You can put love languages to use in any relationship. If you work on a team, for example, it’s helpful to know your team member’s or coworker’s love language to show appreciation in a way they can receive and create a more rewarding work environment.

[05:55] The 5 types of love languages

There are five defined love languages that explain different ways of expressing and receiving love. The 5 Love Languages include words of affirmation, quality, time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. Not everyone communicates love in the same way, and we often have more than one love language, but it’s common for someone to prefer one over the others.

[06:39] The creation of the 5 Love Languages

The concept of love languages was developed by Dr. Gary Chapman. In 1992, he wrote the book, The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts, where he describes these five unique styles of communicating love. He distilled this information from his experience in marriage counseling and linguistics. 

[07:21] What to do when your love languages are different than your partner’s

Your love language may be different than your partner’s and that is completely okay. When that happens, it may be difficult to show love in a way that your partner can receive. Personally, my last partner’s love language was words of affirmation, and it was not something that came to me naturally. I started practicing with my parents and my daughter, and eventually it became very easy for me to express love through words of affirmation. I suggest practicing one love language at a time until you feel comfortable expressing love and appreciation in that way.

[08:15] Where to take the quiz

You can take the free quiz at https://5lovelanguages.com/quizzes 

[09:06] Words of Affirmation and date ideas

People who receive love best through words of affirmation love unsolicited compliments. It means the world to them to hear the words I love you. Diving even deeper, hearing the reasons behind that love would send their spirit soaring. Positive expressions of appreciation and encouragement will put a smile on their face. Behaviors such as insults can leave them feeling shattered, and are not easily forgotten. 

If your partner’s main love language is words of affirmation, try planning a night out to a karaoke bar and sing songs that describe your love for her, play a game night where you speak or act out words of love, and don’t forget to tell her how gorgeous she is.

[11:17] Acts of Service and date ideas

Can vacuuming or cleaning your floors really be an expression of love? It absolutely can. With someone who has an acts of service love language, anything you do to ease the burden of responsibility weighing on them will speak volumes. The words he or she most wants to hear are let me do that for you. Laziness, broken commitments and making more work for them tells receivers of this love language that their feelings don’t matter.

If your partner receives love via acts of service, plan a great date by making a homemade dinner you know they’ll love, making sure to clean up after, draw them a bubble bath, and take care of date logistics like childcare pickups or travel. 

[14:02] Quality Time and date ideas

Quality time is the most popular love language. If you receive love via quality time, nothing says I love you more than full, undivided attention. Making eye contact, removing distractions, and having quality conversations will make you feel like the center of your partner’s universe. If your partner is half-listening while completing another task, it can feel especially hurtful.

A few great ideas for quality time are a no-phone movie night, trying a new class together, or visiting a new art museum.

[15:55] Receiving Gifts and date ideas

Newsflash: Gifts aren’t just superficial, materialistic things, they can be visual representations of love. Someone with this love language thrives on love, thoughtfulness, and the effort behind the gift. The perfect gift or gesture shows them that they are cared for. A missed birthday or anniversary or a thoughtless gift would be disastrous.

Some great date night examples for gift giving would be a photo book or collage of memories that you made together, taking them out to an upscale restaurant for dinner with an outfit that you bought for them to wear, or taking a weekend trip together and buying them a memento to mark the occasion.

[18:37] Physical Touch and date ideas

This love language is not just about the bedroom, though sex is probably a crucial part ofthe relationship thriving, and you may feel dejected if you go a long period of time without it. A person whose primary love language is physical touch may enjoy touches on the arm, shoulder or face as ways to show excitement, concern, care, and even love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, and long distance relationships most likely will not last. Neglect or abuse are unforgivable and destructive for most, but especially for those with a physical touch love language.

Thoughtful ideas for a partner with this love language could include sitting close together while watching a movie, putting your arm on their back when you’re walking together, or placing your hand on their leg while driving. You could hold hands as you go roller or ice skating, or make it even sexier and take a salsa dance class together.

Resources:

5 Love Languages Quiz

Thanks for tuning in to today’s episode! Come and hang out with me on Instagram @celestemooreimage and let me know your thoughts on today’s episode, because I always love hearing from you all!