Have you ever wanted the facts about men’s sexual performance and erections, but didn’t know exactly who or what to ask? Sexual performance coach Brian Ayers joins me on today’s episode of The Down and Dirty podcast to discuss what could be fueling or stunting your sexual drive. With over 22 years of experience, Brian shares his findings on the many facets of sexual health, including nutrition, age, exercise and more.
This episode, we discuss:
[02:11] Brian’s journey to becoming a sexual performance coach
About 25 years ago, Brian and an ex of his went to a Christmas party. At the party, there was a herbal aphrodisiac and they decided to give it a try. The next morning, Brian and his ex were having extra long sessions in bed.
They enjoyed it so much and thought it worked so well that they decided to turn it into a liquid formula and start selling it to the public. The product worked really well for many of the men who purchased it. Of course, it didn’t work well for everyone as nothing ever does but they dove deep into research to try and get down to the root of the problem.
With any supplement, it’s not a magic pill, it is supposed to help supplement other things that you are doing so throughout this process Brian kept educating people and learning more about what men need not only in terms of their physical health, but also in terms of how they approach their sexual health.
[04:35] How Brian changed his routine over the years based on research
When Brian started this whole process, he was only 24 years old and at that age, he didn’t need too much help in this department. Initially he started off talking about sexual techniques, things men should know about women and about themselves. As he got older, Brian realized that he had a bit of an unfair advantage as he was taking GoodWood, which is a natural liquid aphrodisiac that increases your testosterone levels and blood flow and makes it much easier to get an erection.
Once Brian entered his 40s, he found that taking this supplement was masking some of the things that I wasn’t paying attention to in terms of his health. Once this happened, Brian began to shift his focus to the sexual health side of things.
Over the years, Brian has talked with many men who have had issues keeping relationships, even marriages, due to their lack of performance in the bedroom. He has been able to help these men conquer their performance issues and have happier relationships.
When it comes to sexual performance, for men we follow the 80/20 rule. 80% of it is physical and 20% of it is mental. Those percentages shift to around 70/30 as we age and our priorities begin to shift.
[10:16] How what you eat affects your sexual health
In this day and age, a lot of the food we eat is artificial which isn’t great for anyone’s overall health or sexual health. A lot of the food we eat is extremely drying and that robs us of a lot of energy when it comes to sexual performance, for both men and women but especially men because it’s all about the energy.
We can get the most energy from plant based foods and while you don’t need to totally avoid meat at all costs, it is beneficial to cut back on your meat consumption if possible.
One great plant based option for sexual health are beets because they contain a lot of nitrous oxide. Another option is any leafy greens. Basically, everything that you have heard is healthy for you physically is also healthy for you sexually.
Men are supposed to have four to five erections each night but if you’re consuming meat, the duration and the volume of those erections are lower.
Brian has seen many men experience what he calls the Valentine’s Day syndrome. This is when a man is already stressed trying to make sure that Valentine’s Day is a great celebration for his partner and coupled with stress and heavy food and drinks, he is off his game sexually.
[17:39] Exercise and erections
There are two main focuses that we look at in terms of your erections, and both of them are based on testosterone. Both lifting heavy and doing high intensity interval training (HIIT) helps with increasing your testosterone levels.
One of the things we want men to be aware of is the effects that constant state cardio has on your body. Basically just getting on a bike and just riding straight on. If you’re out riding outside, I have no problem with that but if you’re sitting on a stationary bike for an hour that actually wears your body down. Whenever you’re exercising your body’s putting out cortisol and cortisol is the enemy of testosterone. So you don’t want to overdo it, especially as you get older. You want to be very careful with your exercise level so that you don’t your body doesn’t get taxed and can repair itself while you sleep.
[20:48] The generational decline of testosterone levels in men and why it’s happening
The main reason why testosterone levels have declined over the years is because of our lifestyle. Even just 100 years ago, power was only available in about half of the homes in America. There wasn’t the Internet, cell phones and very few people had telephones in their homes in general. In the past, people also got a lot more sleep than we do now and testosterone is built while you are sleeping.
Some other factors that affect our testosterone levels are not exercising enough, wearing clothes that don’t allow your body to be exposed to the sun, and meat consumption.
[26:26] Techniques men need to know
One technique that Brian thinks men need to know about is spectatoring. Spectatoring is when you’ve had some sexual situations where you didn’t perform well and now you are nervous about it. Because you get so focused on making that erection happen, it triggers your cortisol and stress hormones to kick in so then you are just on a downward spiral. Foreplay is very helpful for men as well.
What happens with porn on a biochemical level is that you’re seeing something that is attractive and your brain gets flooded with dopamine. When you are looking at porn, you can look at it for a much longer time without getting the stimulation, the touch, etc xo your brain will be flooded with dopamine for longer periods of time. When you get into a situation with a real person, the dopamine is going and the receptors are over it so you end up in a situation where the performance just isn’t there.
When it comes to porn, Brian believes that it’s a tool but it’s important to be careful how you use it. If you haven’t been seeing porn, and then you decide you want to use porn to spice things up, that’s totally fine.
[36:51] A look into ESEIS 25 Sexual Health Program
ESEIS 25 is an acronym that stands for energy, sleep, exercise, intermittent fasting, and soul. As a human, these five categories are what you need to be paying attention to and Brian created a game out of it. What you will do is score yourself with a five or zero, depending on what you do during a day. If you hit all five areas, you get a 25 which means you’ll have exponential energy, you will heal your body exponentially faster than if you missed out.
For example, with energy, earlier we were talking about consumption of meat, and if you are eating meat at every meal, you want to get better at that so you want to cut down to one meal that you don’t have meat in and that’s your goal for the day you do that you score yourself a five.
When it comes to sleep, if you are only getting five hours of sleep per night, that is very bad for your testosterone levels and immune system. Instead of getting five hours of sleep you commit to six hours of sleep and keep working your way up to eight hours of sleep.
Same thing with exercise, getting back into a routine and getting active at least three times a week. With intermittent fasting, you are eating only eight hours of the day and fasting the other 16 hours.
With the soul category, this is about meditation and getting rid of the stress in your life. With each of the five areas, you will find ways to improve and strive to get fives all around and work to get one percent better every day as the whole goal of this is to get exponentially healthy.
[42:20] GoodWood drops and being cautious about medications and supplements
GoodWood is an all natural liquid mens performance fuel and it has eight different herbs soaked in alcohol and strained through cheesecloth, sits for two weeks, and then it’s extracted out.
Some of the different herbs in there are cloves, cinnamon, and ginger. All of these herbs work in conjunction to increase your testosterone and blood flow. Ginger is helpful with digestion so the product gets into your system and starts moving correctly while cinnamon is a mild aphrodisiac. Because the formula is liquid, it is able to get into your system quicker. Brian finds that a lot of men also use it for working out because it does also increase your stamina.
Brian cautions us to be very careful with pharmaceuticals as they can be harmful to both our physical and sexual health. If you’re diagnosed with something, look for healthier alternatives first. A supplement should not be used as a crutch.
[53:27] How hydration affects your sexual health
Being well hydrated is a huge part of good physical and sexual health. It is important to stay hydrated, especially when you are working out to avoid injury.
[57:50] Brian’s best date experience
Funny enough, one of Brian’s best date experiences is when he went to McDonald’s with the instructor of a dance fitness class he was taking. She ended up paying for both of them and Brian was caught off guard by it but really appreciated the gesture. The two ended up dating for a bit as well.
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