As a professional in the dating space, I see dating profile blunders all too often. I know that dating can be hard enough without trying to create the ‘perfect’ bio, so listen in to today’s episode as we get down and dirty with the details of online dating profiles. I dive into how to capture your best profile photo, how to be specific without being boring, and integrity in the virtual dating space. If you’ve ever felt stuck with your dating profile, or like you’ve been attracting the wrong matches, this episode is for you!
This episode, we discuss:
[02:15] How to capture the best photo of yourself
One of the best ways we can describe ourselves with a dating app is through our profile photo. That being said, you want to make sure you are making the most out of your first impression. First, you want to make sure you have really good lighting. If you’re using sunlight, make sure it’s not direct sunlight. I would suggest facing a window with sunlight to get a really clear image of your face. Second, wear a few different outfits in different settings that reflect your personality and lifestyle, being sure that the outfits are flattering and using colors that are right for you. It could be a photo of you traveling with some friends, one with you and your dog, or maybe of you wearing a nice outfit out at dinner.
I highly recommend staying true to who you are in these photos, but there are a few things I would recommend not including in your profile picture. Make sure you’re not with a bunch of bros with beer or posing with a prize fish or deer head. I know that whenever I see dead animals on a profile picture, I’m swiping left, and other women I have talked to feel the same. Steer clear of bathroom pictures or wearing a plain white tank top to show off tattoos or muscles as it comes off as tacky. Lastly, if you’re looking to start a relationship with a woman, don’t include any other women in your photos. Someone looking at your profile isn’t going to know if it’s your sister, cousin, friend, mom, or even your ex or current girlfriend.
[05:00] Tips to help you create a bio
It can be difficult for us to try to describe ourselves. One of the hardest things for me was trying to create my bio for my website. I suggest asking a few close friends or family members how they would describe you. Take time to reflect on your personality and interests. Take the information you have and put it together in a short bio. With social media’s influence, our attention spans are becoming shorter and shorter, so you want to make sure your bio isn’t insanely long because then no one will take the time to read it. Try crafting a bio that reads like a story, so that it’s short, sweet, and entertaining. I promise you, they will appreciate the time you put into writing your bio.
[06:07] The importance of honesty
Never lie on your profile. I’m going to say that again: Never lie on your profile. In my experience, men will typically lie about two things more than others: their age and their height. First, no great relationship ever starts out with a lie. Second, if you’re planning on meeting someone in person, they are going to find out if you lied about your height, or see that you’re ten years older than your profile says. Don’t get caught up in the thought that no one will date you because of something like height, weight, or age. The great thing about being honest on your profile is that it’s going to weed out everyone who isn’t a fit for you. Save everyone the embarrassment and keep your profile on the up and up.
[09:39] Why both commonalities and differences are important
It’s important to know that you will not always like all of the same things as another person, and that there’s nothing wrong with that. In fact, it can be a great thing. Commonalities matter in areas like core values and life goals, especially for true, lasting relationships. Differences can be fun when it’s something like hobbies or activities and can be a great opportunity to show your partner that you’re open to trying new things.
[12:35] The benefit of being specific
If your dating profile is vague, you may have a lot of people responding who aren’t actually great matches. When you get specific about what you really desire in a partner, it will filter through possible matches and connect you with people who you will actually enjoy being with. Be specific and authentic, avoiding cliches, and you will be matching with someone for all the right reasons in no time.
[13:37] Why and how to use dating app prompts
Dating app prompts are a great way to help customize your profile. It eases the difficulty of having to write about ourselves by taking away the guessing game of what to say. When answering dating prompts, stay positive in your delivery. If you are describing all the things you don’t want, you come off as a negative person and that can be a huge turn off. Avoid sharing any experiences that involve an ex on your profile. It can lead someone to believe that you either aren’t over them, or that you have baggage to work through before moving into a new relationship.
[15:12] What to do if you’re stuck
If you get stuck trying to write your bio, try making a list. Write down all the attributes you are looking for in a partner, including any true deal breakers. This list is for your eyes only, so please don’t publish it to your bio. Use this list to help you write a clear bio that will attract the right person.
[15:42] When to not be ‘available’
If you are still in any kind of relationship, do not list yourself as ‘available’ on dating sites. This only leads to sticky situations that hurt the other person. If you are in a relationship of any kind, complicated or not, separated but still married, and you’re listing yourself as ‘available,’ chances are you’re not there for the right reasons or to find the right relationship. There are sites specifically made for people who are in open relationships, but on your typical dating apps like Tinder, Hinge, or Bumble, the expectation is to meet single men and women.
[17:00] Dating app advice post-Covid
Dating post-Covid, it’s important to let others know if you’re planning to meet in real life (IRL). Some people only want to virtually date because they are more comfortable behind a screen. While there’s nothing wrong with getting to know someone through the computer before meeting up, I do highly suggest you meet them in real life at some point. I believe that we’ve lost the art of looking people in the eyes and that we need more human interaction. There is a lot more at play now after Covid, so be sure that you’re on the same page if you want to meet in person.
[20:12] The exclusivity conversation
So you’ve met a lovely lady online and you’re really interested in a relationship with her, so you have the ‘let’s be exclusive’ conversation. You’ve made it clear you don’t want her to see anyone else and you’ve said that you won’t see anyone else either. At this point, you want to make sure that you’re not still active in the online dating scene. People can see when you’re active, and sometimes can even see when you’re online, so if you’re having the conversation about being exclusive, make sure you’re also ready to take your ‘active’ status off your profile. LIfe is too short to play games with relationships.
Thanks for tuning in to today’s episode! Now go have fun and swipe right and see who is compatible for you.