Not having the type of sex you’ve been longing for? On this episode of the podcast, I invited Relationship and Intimacy coaches Céline Remy and Kevin Anthony to discuss their insights on having hotter sex, experiencing real intimacy, and developing deeper connections to your partner. Join our conversation on tantric sex, changing hormones, and why you should have sex at least a few times before deciding whether or not you and your date are physically compatible.
This episode, we discuss:
This episode, we discuss:
[01:54] Céline and Kevin’s background and work
Céline Remy and Kevin Anthony are an international husband and wife team who decided to join forces to create a worldwide movement of true sexual empowerment. Kevin is a men’s coach and tantra counselor and Céline is a certified sexological bodyworker and relationship and intimacy coach for men, women and couples. They host the Love Lab podcast and are co-creators of Sexual Power and Mastery, an online educational training system that teaches the exact process to any man who desires to bring his A-game consistently to the bedroom. Together, they guide couples, women, and men on how to go from good to amazing in the bedroom and beyond.
[03:03] Why married couples seek out coaching
One of the top reasons couples seek out Céline and Kevin is because they’re not having the kind of sex they want or used to have. Somewhere between dating and having careers or kids they aren’t connecting as often or as well. These couples are typically in love and care deeply about one another, but are having trouble feeling intimate or speaking each other’s love languages. They’re looking to reconnect with their sexuality while also reconnecting with their partner.
[05:42] Their work with singles
When working with singles of all ages, Céline and Kevin find that they’re either actively dating, but not getting the results they’re looking for, or they are single and they feel like it’s a good time to focus on themselves. Sometimes singles will meet someone while in the midst of coaching, and Céline and Kevin will guide them through. They work with individuals who have never really had relationship experience and are looking for the skills they need before entering the dating world, as well as men of all ages struggling with premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction. Often, they find most of their concerns are due to poor habits, porn, and lack of true connection with self and others.
[06:54] The 2 main problems porn presents
There are two main problems that porn presents for people. The first problem is that it’s not reality. Pornographic content presents you with a hyper fantasy world that doesn’t exist. People start to become hyper attracted to women or men in porn, and then the potential partner (in real life) can’t meet those expectations. The second thing that tends to happen with porn, is that it physically trains the body to have premature ejaculation. With the hyper stimulation, it pushes them over the edge too quickly. This can lead to many things including erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, and lack of interest in real relationships.
[11:04] Why sex education didn’t do the trick
There are multiple areas in life that we spend a lot of time learning about and practicing, and then there are certain, fundamental things that we may take for granted, things that we just do and aren’t ever really taught how to do them properly. Sex is often treated like something we’re expected to figure out as we go, and nobody really teaches it. If you want to be good at sex and know how to connect with another individual, you have to take the time to learn the skills.
[12:32] Kevin’s sexual journey
Since the beginning of Kevin’s sexual journey, he’s always strived to know more and do better. Interested in how to receive and give more pleasure, he began to read more about the subject and entered relationships with partners who were open and willing to practice and try new things. He eventually became involved with a tantra group in his community, where they brought in experts and taught workshops on a variety of topics, including having better sex and relationships. The people around him began to see the way he interacted in sexual relationships and came to him with questions, which is why he decided to pursue teaching.
[17:38] How to know if you’re ready
Obviously everyone could benefit from hotter sex, deeper intimacy, and more orgasms, but how do you know if you’re ready to do the work required to get there? If you’re having the same experience in dating over and over again, or if you’re struggling with intimacy issues and things just aren’t working out for you, you have to be willing to work on yourself. When you’re ready to stop blaming others and external factors and really take a look at what’s going on internally, then you’re ready to do the work.
[19:32] Tapping back into intimacy
A lot of people are looking for a magic button to push when it comes to reconnecting to their sexuality, but the truth is that it takes work. Céline and Kevin teach communication, sensuality, and sexuality over the course of 3 months. They start by taking it out of the bedroom and reconnecting to true intimacy, creating a safe container for your partner to be vulnerable, and learning to touch and sync energies. It’s a process that focuses on building a strong foundation for pleasure and intimacy first.
[24:40] What happens as we age
For men and women, our hormones change as we age. For men, they start out just wanting to have sex. As they age, they start longing for something deeper and begin to seek out intimacy and connection. As women age, progesterone levels drop and they begin to feel more confident about themselves and want to experience more sexually. It’s important to be aware that our hormone levels are influenced by age, as well as many environmental factors.
[31:52] When to start working on sexual confidence
The perfect time to work on sexual confidence is right now. Don’t wait for a relationship to show up to start working on yourself. It’s always best practice to be able to show up in any relationship as who you truly are, and building sexual confidence will help you do that.
[33:44] What to do if the chemistry is great but the sex…isn’t
If you have great chemistry with someone and then you have terrible sex, what should you do? Try it again! Céline and Kevin recommend agreeing with your partner to have sex at least 5 times before deciding if it’s truly worth breaking the relationship off. Sometimes initial sexual encounters can be awkward because you aren’t comfortable with each other yet, but if you give up after one bad night of sex you could be missing out!
[38:33] Why Céline and Kevin’s relationship works so well
Céline and Kevin are often asked how their relationship works so well, and while they aren’t able to narrow it down to one thing in particular, they attribute a large portion of their relationship success to being able to be their genuine selves. Kevin says that they both feel safe showing up to the relationship every day as their complete selves, with no pretense or feeling like they have to be something different. He also mentions that they are open minded when someone needs to talk about something, engaging in emotionally mature conversations. Céline mentions that they ‘play on the same team,’ meaning they are always encouraging each other to be the best they can be.
[40:39] Masculine and feminine energies
Masculine and feminine energy is a topic everyone seems to be talking about. Masculine energy is typically associated with competitiveness, though neither Kevin or Céline feel the need to compete with each other. Kevin feels the problem with the way society is advertising masculine energy right now is the push to compete with everyone. They both feel that women are told to be “boss babe” or “boss bitch” versions of themselves, while society is telling men they have to soften up and quiet down: it’s depolarizing relationships. The woman is stepping up into hardcore masculine, and the man is stepping down in the soft feminine receptive mode, but then they’re meeting somewhere in the middle, which means they begin to butt heads and compete all the time. Kevin and Céline talk about the ability to move between different energies depending on the environment you’re in, discussing stepping into the strong masculine while at work, and more of a feminine energy while at home.
[45:43] The secret playbook to your partner
Love languages aren’t ‘woo,’ they’re actually the secret playbook to your partner. When you’re trying to love someone, and you’re giving love to them in ways that they can’t receive, then they aren’t going to feel the love. It’s pretty simple. Kevin gives the example of taking a date out to eat: If you are taking a woman out to eat, you want her to enjoy the meal. Do you take her to a place she hates, where there’s nothing on the menu she can eat? Or do you take her to her favorite restaurant with an all you can eat buffet? It’s the same principle with love languages.
[49:10] Céline and Kevin’s favorite date
Céline’s favorite date was an evening they spent in front of the fireplace on an air mattress where she invented different games that included touching each other and command words to follow. She said they spent the whole night laughing.
Kevin’s favorite date is his first date ever with Céline, as they spent the evening doing so many things that they both love to do. Céline cooked him a homemade meal, he brought her aromatic chocolates that they devoured together, and spent the evening talking, getting to know each other, and practicing some of Céline’s sexological bodywork training together.
Thanks for tuning in to today’s episode! Now go have fun and swipe right and see who is compatible for you.
If you’re looking for a more personalized service to help you out with your dating profile, you can message me on Instagram @celestemooreimage and let me know your thoughts on today’s episode. I’d love to hear from you!