Tantra has been around for thousands of years but many of us have never experienced this magical medicine. Canadian sensuality and intimacy coach, Kim Coffin, found herself burnt out and depleted some years ago and reclaimed her power and body through the art of Sacred Sexuality.
In this episode, Kim fills your ears with sensuality, sexuality and so much inspiration to go forward loving yourself, just a bit more. I left this episode mind blown, and I am sure you will too.
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In this week’s episode we discuss:
[1:16] Who is Kim Coffin?
[2:58] How Kim got into sex and intimacy coaching
[8:08] The pain points Kim sees across genders
[11:15] The difference between men and women when it comes to sexual insecurities
[14:31] What is Sacred Sexuality?
[18:41] How one becomes more orgasmic
[23:02] More about the large and small trauma we hold in our body
[25:17] Keeping things alive in a long-term relationship
[27:05] What is “Get Your Sexy Back”?
[29:10] What is a jade egg?
[36:35] What it’s like working with Kim
[42:45] Kim’s favorite date
Who is Kim Coffin?
Kim Coffin is the founder of Get Your Sexy Back. She is also a certified trauma informed somatic empowerment love and relationship coach. She is a graduate of Layla Martin Institute of Integrated Tantric Sexuality. She specializes in female sexuality, tantric sex and relationship transformation giving you the tools to unleash your sexual confidence and unlock new layers of profound pleasure.
How Kim got into sex and intimacy coaching
After a life of societal conditioning and trauma, she noticed so much disconnection with her body and those around her. She experienced a teenage sexual assault and a betrayal wound from her mother that stemmed from that same experience. She saw that she was just pushing through and then ended up burning out. She felt called to slow down and listen to herself and she began to see that there was so much that was pushing down in her body.
She started to find things to help her reground, reconnect, and help her reclaim all of those places that she had pushed away and dismissed herself.
The pain points Kim sees across genders
Kim notices that both men and women are struggling in this area. In men, they are disconnected because they are generally responding to their partner and they are people pleasing in a “manly” way by trying to keep their partner happy.
We attract partners that replicate a lot of our unhealed childhood experiences and therefore it causes a lot of discord. This is normal and a part of the process of healing and growing.
The difference between men and women when it comes to sexual insecurities
In Kim’s opinion, many people she works with do have shame and embarrassment when they talk about these things. When it comes to men, there’s an understanding that they should be feeling super open to these conversations and pumped up by their testosterone but in reality they are feeling very de-masculated. They might be a bit more open to talk about it but when you get really intimate with them we all have so many insecurities. We have been disempowered in this area for thousands of years.
What is Sacred Sexuality?
Sacred sexuality is considered a sacred slowing down. When men ejaculate they are depleting themselves and they can learn to become multi-orgasmic and extend and never ejaculate. You can learn this by using your breath and sexual energy to control this. Unfortunately, we are not taught any of this. By practicing this, the man becomes less depleted and more connected to his sexual essence.
Learning to use your breath and sexual energy to move your energy through your body can help men and women become multi orgasmic.
So many women are only experiencing clitoral orgasms or in certain positions in bed. Little do most women know but they can rewire themselves to have many different kinds of orgasms.
How one becomes more orgasmic
It comes with a deepening of practice where you’re learning how to move your sexual energy through your body and instead of orgasms that come and go, you end up peaking and keeping going.
On this journey of deepening your practice you might feel some blocks and your body may freak out a bit in certain areas. We aren’t feeling so many things because we are a go-go-go society and filled with a lot of unhealed trauma.
We can use the energy in our pelvic bowl to create, for men and women.
More about the large and small trauma we hold in our body
We hold large scale sexual trauma among many others and we also hold small traumas such as societal conditioning and unwritten rules. For example, that women are supposed to be sexy until they are married and with children, once this happens we wrap up the sexuality and put it away. Also, the porn industry instills a lot of this and causes many problems.
Keeping things alive in a long-term relationship
It’s really important for both people in the partnership to work on themselves. Instead of getting lost in making each other happy, let’s expand the communication to a deeper level. You want to both feel seen and heard.
It’s very important to look into what you want, what lights you up and what turns you on. Creating an epic sexual energy in your body and then bringing that together.
What is “Get Your Sexy Back”?
This is Kim’s business that she has multiple programs underneath. One of the ways to work with her is 1:1 or 1:2 as couples. She helps couples or singles learn a lot about what she talked about today. She’s very respectful and private so a lot of this is with their camera off or with video instruction she sends to you.
This business explains a lot about what happened to her and how she reclaimed her voice and her power. She also emphasizes reconnecting with the body, inner truth and your sexuality. With all of this she offers the ability to find an unshakeable, unapologetic inner power.
She offers a membership called Sacred Pleasure and a Jade Egg program.
What is a jade egg?
Also called a yoni egg, which comes from the Sanskrit word for vagina, this practice comes from the Daoist tradition that helps you come home to your body. It also helps to rewire neural pathways, to reduce pain and strengthen our pelvic floor. These eggs are made out of the crystal, jade and you place inside of your vagina. This practice helps you turn inward and listen to yourself more.
What it’s like working with Kim
She only goes as fast as the client’s body will allow. The mind may want to move faster but she goes at the speed of the person’s body and goes as slow as they need. She is aware of the trauma piece so she makes sure that you’re regulated and grounded throughout the experience.
Kim’s favorite date
Kim has been married for 23 years and she plans regular tantra dates with her husband. They practice the tantric tradition and have really enjoyed the journey together.
Connect with Kim: