Keeping sex spicy is something I’ve always believed to be super important in relationships. In order to do that, you really have to be aware of what feels good to you and be willing to communicate that to your partner. For women, masterbation can be a great way to explore their sexual desires on a deeper level, but it’s still a taboo topic that not many are comfortable openly talking about.

After appearing as a guest on their show, I invited The Opinionated Podcast to join in on today’s episode, discussing their questions about womens masterbation and reigniting the passion in our sex lives.

This episode, we discuss:

[15:24] What to do before going on a date

Imagine that you’re on a date. You walk into the restaurant, or meet them at their door, and they are even more attractive than you imagined. Even if you’ve met them before, they are all dressed up for this date and they are looking good. Chances are, this attraction has you thinking about sex. You’re waiting for them to say something that lets you know that they want to go back to your apartment, but are you actually hearing anything they say? Worse yet, you could be getting yourself so excited that by the time you do get back to your apartment, you last 30 seconds before the fun is over. Do yourself a favor – masterbate before your date. This should help you concentrate more on what your date is saying so that you can engage in meaningful conversation. Plus, you’ll still have the opportunity to end the night together.

[20:14] The importance of communication

We’ve all heard how important communication is in a relationship. I want to tell you that it’s also super important for a fun, healthy sex life. This is vital when a couple first gets together and are still in the ‘figuring each other out’ stage, but also helpful in committed relationships as turn-ons may change. Women tend to be a bit more complicated when it comes to understanding what actually turns them on and brings them to orgasm, especially considering a very low percentage of women even orgasm at all. An even lower percentage of women orgasm from penetration, meaning most women that do orgasm experience it through clitorial stimulation. If you communicate to your partner the kind of touch, intensity, and foreplay you like, the experience will be much more exciting and fun for both of you. If you’re not sure what you like, I encourage you to take the time to explore your pleasure through masterbation. Your sex-life will thank you.

[25:12] Learning the difference between ‘spicy’ and ‘freaky’

Is it a turn-off when a guy gets overly freaky? This is a question that I feel really depends on what your partner is comfortable with sex-wise. For example, I am not into S&M, so that would definitely not be a way to try and romance me. When you know your partner’s turn-ons and turn-offs, you can really start to cultivate ways to spice up your sex lives. ‘Freaky’ really only comes into play if you’re trying to get your partner to do something that they are not super comfortable with. Keep it spicy and stay on the same level as your partner.

[33:47] How to keep it spicy in a committed relationship

If you’ve been in a committed relationship, whether it’s been a few years or over a decade, it’s very likely that some of the original passion has faded. This is completely normal. I mean, you’re not strangers meeting from across the bar. You know each other intimately and have gone through the good and the bad together. The question is, can you bring the passion back? Hell yes, you can! 

Starting out, ask yourself how you can romance your partner. I don’t just mean taking them out for dinner and expecting sex the whole time. How can you set the mood? On my podcast episode with The Opinionated Podcast, we talk about ways they spice things up with their partners, including all-day verbal foreplay (and then actually following through with what you say), intentional and sensual touching, or a sexy activity like salsa dancing. Whatever you choose, keep in mind what your partner would respond to the most and you’ll be adding passionate, spicy sex back into the mix before you know it. Yes, it’s work, but it’s definitely worth it.

[37:21] The difference between good sex and passionate sex

In any long-term relationship, you may start to notice that there is good sex, and then there is passionate sex. You may even start to feel as if you’re struggling to find the passion again. Don’t worry – this is fairly common and there are steps you can take to bring that passionate sex back into your lives.

The main difference between good sex and passionate sex is this: Good sex results in an orgasm. Passionate sex will leave you feeling drained emotionally and physically (in the best way). This is because when you’re engaging in passionate sex, you’re connecting with your partner on a much deeper level than the average “let’s have sex” experience.

From a woman’s point of view, that emotionally and physically draining sex happens when you’re taking the emotion plus the physicality and connecting them together. You’re connecting with your partner on a level that says, “I see you. I see your soul. I see everything about you and it turns me on.”

Thanks for tuning in to today’s episode! Come and hang out with me on Instagram @celestemooreimage and let me know your thoughts on today’s episode, because I always love hearing from you all!