It’s becoming painfully obvious that men are not getting the support they need in our current society. Elise Micheals found that men needed more help than they were getting and that she could offer specific guidance that not only worked but resonated with the male audience.
In this episode, you will learn about trauma work, how to find your purpose and passion, and you might start to understand what your authentic self is! If you’re on the healing journey and looking to attract a partner that is too, this is the episode for you!
In this week’s episode we discuss:
[1:07] Who is Elise Micheals and how did she get into men’s work?
[3:00] Why Elise Micheals?
[4:00] Elise’s own mental health struggles
[7:00] How men’s needs in therapy differ
[10:18] How Elise helps men find their purpose and their passion
[14:58] Actionable tools that help Elise’s clients in their healing
[19:10] Defining trauma
[25:00] How Elise’s tools and programs help her clients
[28:00] Helping men reconnect with their masculinity
[33:29] How do you know when you’re ready to date?
[36:55] Elise’s favorite date
[40:21] Celeste’s relationship with my masculinity
Who is Elise Micheals and how did she get into men’s work?
Elise is a trauma informed men’s coach who helps men find purpose and passion again by healing subconscious trauma. She plans on changing the way men’s health is viewed.
She initially wanted to get into women’s spiritual work but noticed that mostly men were reaching out to her. She had some resistance at first but realized she knew how to help people and men didn’t have as much support so she decided to be that go-to person.
Why Elise Micheals?
Her clients have said that she spoke directly to them and their problems. She tries to be as genuine and straightforward as possible, which men seem to resonate with. Overall, the men who have found her feel deeply connected to her content.
Elise’s own mental health struggles
She grew up in a very dysfunctional family and as she grew up she noticed she had some issues she couldn’t solve on her own. She found an incredible therapist but there was still a disconnect when it came to actionable steps or really understanding her cycles overall.
She then started diving into neuroscience, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and trauma therapy. She started really understanding how the brain works and how you could actually course correct.
How men’s needs in therapy differ
Elise has noticed that men compartmentalize and put things into boxes. They want to understand what is going on and how to fix it. Women are much more open and want to talk about things where men want to do something about it.
Elise related to this idea of wanting to “stop the talking” and do something about it.
How Elise helps men find their purpose and their passion
The men that come to her have lost a sense of self. Finding that purpose and passion isn’t an easy and fast fix. The process is about taking away all the layers that we’ve added that are ingenuine and inauthentic.
When we take those things away we allow ourselves to blossom and that purpose naturally comes through. This is about finding the authentic self. Many men that come to her don’t know who they are and they are indoctrinated into society and into their families. So many factors play into who you have become and it can take time to unmask all of that.
Elise has noticed that capitalism tells us what our purpose is and builds us up to being someone we might not want to be. In the end our natural instinct is to love and be loved. When we take away the masks and see what we really want is a less isolated life and that flows through us naturally.
Actionable tools that help Elise’s clients in their healing
For the man who has been the “yes man” and let everyone else’s needs go before him, Elise encourages him to make himself a priority and start to say “no”. Make yourself the number one priority and let life go around that and you will gain more self confidence in the process. In this process, her clients learn boundaries and realize he won’t lose the people he loves or all of his money if he says “no” sometimes.
Elise also likes to make it clear that if you are in a relationship with a dysfunctional person, you are their perfect match. It is extremely important to look at the part you play in everything that occurs in your relationship.
Many people know they’ve experienced traumatic events or grew up in a dysfunctional environment but they don’t know what their child brain created in order to survive. Most will never look at these patterns unless they have to. This shows up in so many areas of our lives, especially dating.
In many ways we have all been traumatized by life and there are smaller traumas that add up and make a bigger impact than we think. In the end, this is not meant to be an excuse or something to attach to so that you don’t change. We can break these things down and find a way to move through them.
How Elise’s tools and programs help her clients
Elise believes that after her clients learn some tools they are able to navigate through the world more effectively. You are never absolved of all your trauma and pain but at least you have started the process and you know how to work with yourself. You won’t need to find a dependence on someone else to help you through everything.
Elise offers a rapid three month program with sessions once a week and unlimited WhatsApp support in between. This creates a great foundation for the future. There is continuing education and support but this seems to be the most fundamental and helpful program she offers.
Helping men reconnect with their masculinity
Lack of masculinity comes from ignoring your authentic self, not standing in your power, not saying “no” and not prioritizing yourself. Sometimes the man has become a doormat and because women have gone all the way to the extreme of not wanting a man at all and it’s causing problems.
There’s some confusion on what role does the man play. Elise says there are women out there that do want traditional gender roles and want help. It’s important to focus on being your own man so that you can attract the woman that you’re looking for.
It’s okay to move forward in a modern way that also incorporates tradition. Women need to be able to relax and we need to figure out a way to have these two worlds collide.
How do you know when you’re ready to date?
You will never be healed completely and a new relationship will crack you open no matter what.
If you’re on a healing journey and ready to go back into a relationship keep some things in mind. These include: what are your core values, your love language, how to set boundaries, what you’re looking for and how to self-regulate.
Elise’s favorite date
Elise states that one of her favorite dates was while she was in a relationship and they went to Vegas. They were supposed to go to a steakhouse but it was full so they ended up at a sushi fusion spot and they had no idea what they were getting themselves into. It ended up being thirteen courses with lobster tail and they laughed the whole time.
If you’re with the right person it’s always fun and the best date ever.
Celeste’s relationship with my masculinity
Celeste is working on stepping out her masculinity and starting to date again which is a whole new experience. She has had to learn to step into her feminine by leaving work at the door.
Allowing men to open doors for her and for her to be a bit more gentle and quieter. This is a process for her but she is learning.
Connect with Elise