We all know someone who has or we personally have been through a divorce ourselves and although this choice comes with significantly less stigma than it used to, it’s still very difficult. 

This week, Daren Douglas eloquently tells us his story of divorce and how he helps clients survive this difficult time. From finding new friendships to reframing your thoughts to actually enjoy co-parenting, this episode has so much positive energy to help you or those you love have a smooth transition into single life! 

In this week’s episode, we discuss:

[1:18] About Daren Douglas

[4:33] Daren’s divorce story

[11:46] How important it is to have tools and a community 

[15:50] When to introduce a new partner to your kids 

[19:49] How to talk to your co-parent about a new partner moving in 

[21:58] What is thought modeling?

[30:10] What it’s been like for Daren dating currently

[39:33] Daren’s favorite date 

About Daren Douglas?

Daren is a certified divorce specialist that enhances people’s lives by teaching them necessary skills to thrive after divorce. He helps clients go back to themselves on a deep level. 

Daren’s divorce story 

His divorce started in 2020 and his relationship began to get rocky when he lost his job in 2019 and had to move 90 minutes away. He couldn’t find a closer job and had to relocate to Cleveland, Ohio. Shortly after, the pandemic occurred and his marriage was very strained and it started falling apart. They ended up taking an anniversary trip where she told him it was over. 

He filed for divorce after that and the grueling process began where he was tested in many areas of his life leaving him a shell of a man afterwards. He had lost his identity to fatherhood, marriage and a job he ended up losing and then depression was around the corner. Thankfully he had built many healthy habits prior to this that helped pull him through. 

He started finding his passions again and reflected back on his childhood. Not only what may have caused this relationship fracture but what he loved to do back then. 

How important it is to have tools and a community 

Whether it’s your church, your gym or passions and hobbies you have, find those two or three people that you can confide in and that can guide you. Darren says he lost himself in his marriage and didn’t have any friends. He wants to focus on himself and also make sure his next partnership is first before his kids so that he can model a healthy relationship for them. 

When to introduce a new partner to your kids 

Daren usually introduces his kids to a woman in public places and not at home. He also believes there is no right or wrong to this and that you just have to follow your intuition. Having public playdates helps with there being less attachment for the kids if it doesn’t work out with the woman or man you’re dating. 

How to talk to your co-parent about a new partner moving in

Daren says to focus on the facts and if you are getting emotional responses to take a step back. Your co-parent knows how to push your buttons and knows how to make you emotional but you don’t have to engage and you can change some old patterns. Make sure any time you respond you are staying in the facts and if you can’t wait until you can. 

What is thought modeling?

An example he shares is when he had a birthday party for his son at an indoor waterpark with his ex wife and it was bringing up a lot of fear and anxiety beforehand. He was taught by his life coach to reframe this by looking at the circumstance and detaching a bit. The circumstance of going to the water park actually sounded really fun and he chose to feed that thought and ended up having a great time. He teaches this a lot to his clients so that when they see their ex they don’t have to play small and hide and have a new experience. 

What it’s been like for Daren dating currently

Daren has made sure his boundaries are air tight while also having looser expectations so he can have fun. He recognized through this process that he is a fairytale teller and it has backfired on him through his dating. He also noticed that confidence is a key part of success and helps you handle disappointment. 

Daren has finally figured out what his ideal partner is and he did this through data gathering in his dating which took a lot of time. You learn a lot of lessons through it and move forward with a clearer ideal. 

He has learned recently that friendship is the key to his next relationship and he knows now that he will probably be friends with someone first before becoming intimate. 

Daren’s favorite date 

Daren has had his favorite dates just doing the things he loves with a person rather than just a traditional dinner date. 

Connect with Daren:

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