Do you know what you really need in love and partnership, or do you feel a bit unclear? On today’s episode, I invited professional matchmaker and dating coach Cat Cantrill to discuss the biggest challenges her clients face and her advice for those looking to find their forever person. Join us as we dive into Cat’s live dating game show, the power of vulnerability, and tips for creating successful, long-term relationships.
This episode, we discuss:
[02:46] Cat’s background and the creation of Game for Love
Cat feels she’s always been a natural entertainer and has always felt familiar with the stage. She was a coach for women for over a decade and decided to pivot her business during the pandemic to focus on helping single men and women navigate the dating world and find their match. One of the things she felt had been missing from her life and business was the entertainment piece, but knowing that dating can be a really great topic to make fun of and that we tend to take life too seriously, Cat began creating an educational yet fun platform on social media. One night, after watching a dating reality show together, Cat’s partner asked her why she wasn’t putting on a reality show of her own, and the idea began to come to life.
[10:35] A behind-the-scenes look at Game of Love
Cat puts out a casting call and interviews various singles to potentially become contestants. She will conduct 15 minute Q&A sessions with each contestant, and uses her matchmaker skills to begin to piece together who would be compatible. She likes to ask more creative questions that dive deeper than the surface level and allow much faster connections. She condenses their interviews into 1 minute sneak peeks for the audience to begin to get to know them, and then gives each contestant a choice to either showcase a talent or spin the wheel of destiny – a game of truth or dare. Whoever is matched on a stage goes on a 20 minute date right there and then, moving to a space above the theater with cupcakes and cocktails. The remaining contestants have opportunities to go on dates with people from the audience.
[15:18] Cat’s journey to stage life
Cat was previously a dancer and owned a dance studio of her own. She began to put on large productions in her area and started to emcee after an emcee she had hired bailed two hours before a show. After the show, multiple people suggested she emcee her own shows, and as she did she began to fall in love with it.
[17:22] The power of permission
One of the most powerful things about Cat’s show, Game of Love, is that the contestants and the audience are being open and vulnerable together. Many times, Cat has seen a set of friends try out for the show together because they had given each other permission to do so. It’s this power of permission to be vulnerable that creates such a beautiful, open atmosphere where people can truly connect and be themselves.
[19:44] Why people work with a matchmaker
Dating apps can be seen as convenient ways to meet people, but there’s an ugly aspect to it that allows people to treat others like they’re disposable, ruining connection and dating for a lot of people. People have come to Cat for matchmaking services when they are frustrated with the online dating process and they feel like trying to find a connection has become a full time job. In these scenarios, they know they want a true partnership, but have lost the excitement of trying to find someone on their own or are tired of making connections with people who aren’t right for them. Cat listens, collects all the data, coaches her clients on diving deep into their values and desires, and then takes care of the vetting process to help them find a truly compatible match.
[25:50] The benefits of being open-minded
It’s important to take the time to reflect on what your core values are when looking for a partner, as you want to make sure those are aligned. You always want to remain open-minded to differences like not having common interests. These differences can allow fun banter, curiosity, and intellectual growth in a relationship, sparking deep and insightful conversations.
[28:35] Keys to a successful, long-term relationship
One of the keys to a successful, long-term relationship is having a growth mindset. Kindness, empathy, compassion, and consideration are also great foundations for relationships, but a growth mindset will have you always seeking expansion and understanding about yourself and others, and will naturally cultivate characteristics that will strengthen emotional intelligence and better partnership.
[33:42] The importance of self-work before dating
As a matchmaker, Cat can interview you, find who and what you’re looking for, and deliver a perfect match, but if you haven’t done the self-work – none of it will matter. When you understand how you may be getting in your own way, self-sabotaging, or holding onto previous stories about love and romance, you can say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to a match for all the right reasons, really understanding who you are and what you bring to the table.
[35:58] Cat’s favorite date of all time
Cat describes her partner Brian as the most romantic man she’s ever met. There’s one date in particular, one they’ve dubbed the ‘gold rock date,’ that she remembers as one of her favorites. He began by sending her pictures of his hands covered in gold paint and sending her hints before he picked her up for dinner. After dinner, he announced they would be going on a scavenger hunt to find gold rocks. Every time she would find a gold rock, they would slow dance together. She still recalls it as one of the first truly romantic and magical moments she had ever experienced.
[39:25] Where Cat would go if anything was possible
If Cat could go anywhere or anytime in the universe, she would choose to go back to one of her favorite cities, London. In the past, she had considered moving into a flat in London and living there full time. She loves the people and the multicultural society, and recalls a specific tea room that she suggests everyone visit if they’re spending time in London.
Thanks for tuning in to today’s episode! Now go have fun and swipe right and see who is compatible for you.
If you’re looking for a more personalized service to help you out with your dating profile, you can message me on Instagram @celestemooreimage and let me know your thoughts on today’s episode. I’d love to hear from you!