Have you ever been stuck in the same cycles or patterns and wondered if you would ever be able to change them? This can feel impossible but once we dive into our emotions, take ownership, and dedicate ourselves to change, our lives can be better than we imagined!
Join us this week as Maria Fuentes, a self-mastery coach, shares how we can work past guilt and shame, why self-love is more than just a buzzword, and how taking ownership over our triggers, emotions, and boundaries can improve our relationships
Maria’s wisdom will open your eyes to the possibility of change and remind you that even if you feel like you cannot break a cycle, once you take ownership of your life and energy – amazing things can happen.
In this week’s episode, we discuss:
[02:00] About Maria Fuentes
[04:00] Why Maria started her business
[07:13] Being selective with your energy – leaky energy syndrome
[15:46] Breaking up with hyper independence
[17:42] Working past shame and guilt
[19:18] Uncovering unworthiness
[21:09] Using EFT tapping
[25:35] What do women want out of a healthy relationship?
[27:28] The importance of self-love in relationships
[31:39] Gender roles and boundaries in relationships
[34:51] Women are the gatekeepers of emotions
[38:48] Taking ownership of our triggers
[42:24] Self-realization and getting clear on what we want
[45:09] Long-distance relationships
[48:55] Maria’s favorite date
About Maria Fuentes
Maria Fuentes is a self-mastery coach specializing in helping individuals take ownership of their emotions, confidence, and relationships.
Why Maria started her business
Maria started her personal development journey a few years ago because she was in a dark place. She felt like a victim and knew that she needed to make a change. As she started healing, she decided that she wanted to start a business and become the person that she needed during that dark time in her life.
Maria shares that when we want to shift into the higher version of ourselves, we need to have conversations with different people outside of our inner circle. If you can look to someone that has the life that you desire and they can be a mentor for you, that is the best possible scenario.
Being selective with your energy – leaky energy syndrome
Maria shares that most of her coaching is group coaching because she is selective with her energy. She believes that we should all be selective with what we spend our energy on and who taps into our energy source. She shares that so many of us have leaky energy syndrome which is why we feel drained out even when we do not do anything productive. We all have to learn how to protect our energy and once we understand ourselves on a deeper level, we can manage and navigate it better.
Many of us have created a persona of who we think we should be and we are not living as our true authentic selves. This stems from our childhood, religion, or society. When we can go back to our authentic selves, we will feel more energy and not have to find people to fill the voids within us. Celeste shares that the more we strip away who we are not, the happier we will be. As cheesy as it sounds, we have to fill up our cups before we give them to others.
Breaking up with hyper independence
Maria shares that she has always been a hyper-independent woman. She did not want to rely on anyone but as she started healing, she realized that this was a trauma response from childhood. Asking for help is vulnerable and oftentimes we think of vulnerability as a weakness. When we start outsourcing things that we do not care to do, we have free time and energy to do the things that we want. Celeste shares that women often have trust issues and have a hard time letting go but if we allow ourselves to be comfortable enough to make a change, there will be a big difference in ourselves.
Working past shame and guilt
Shame and guilt are the most difficult emotions to work past but they are the most detrimental. If you suppress this shame and guilt, you will carry it around with you for the rest of your life. You might carry this shame so heavily that you can gain weight and it will cause illness and stress. Our emotions have a direct effect on our bodies and shame and guilt are two of the heaviest. As women, we deal with so much shame and suppression of who we are but Celeste reminds us that we can rewrite this.
Uncovering unworthiness
When you feel unworthy of asking for help, there is always an emotion attached to it. When you get to the root of this emotion and the story that happened around asking for help, you can change this. Maria shares that 90% of our day is through our subconscious mind. We think that we are consciously doing things but we are not. If we clear the belief that we created around asking for help and then clear the energy around it, we can rewrite this.
Using EFT tapping
Stress and anxiety are side effects of an emotion that has not been resolved. Maria uses Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT tapping) to clear out emotions that are coming up for her or her clients. You can use this at any point in your day.
What do women want out of a healthy relationship?
Women always want emotional intimacy and men want physical intimacy. Maria shares that women want to be touched emotionally and we find intimacy to be sexy. Many women want this but they do the opposite. They trade actual love for quick validation. Celeste shares that there is a false sense of happiness that many people have. We cannot be happy unless we are happy with ourselves.
The importance of self-love in relationships
There is a balance of self-love and standards that we should learn. When we love ourselves, we do not care about cheap compliments or likes, we want deeper connections. Maria says that women need to treat themselves like queens if they want to be treated like a queens. When you are happy with yourself, your relationship becomes a bonus and you do not have to lean on external validation.
When a woman is in her power and held high, she can pour more love into you. Many men want to become the fixer but Celeste shares that your role is to hold space for women to be vulnerable. This is what it means to be a high-value man.
Gender roles and boundaries in relationships
Maria shares that we has had to consciously choose to let her boyfriend provide and give to her. She said before she did this personal development work, she would want to pay and try to take the lead. Celeste and Maria remind us that the foundational things are the ones that work best with our energy. Celeste shares that we need to be crystal clear on our boundaries. When we are clear on our boundaries, we can have deeper trust in each other and a more secure relationship.
Women are the gatekeepers of emotions
Maria shares that if women cannot learn to master their emotions and have enough self-awareness around them, they will be explosive. Men do not like this because if they do not know what they are walking into, they will never feel fulfilled. It is the woman’s responsibility to understand themselves enough to speak to a man in a soft, loving, and caring way.
If a woman does not take ownership of her emotions then the man will never give them the emotional intimacy that they crave. Men need a soft nurturing space to be able to open up. Maria also shares that women need to be using “I” statements instead of “you” statements. Men are not actively trying to make you mad, they just do not see things the way women do. Men see through boxes and women see how everything is connected.
Taking ownership of our triggers
Celeste shares that women need to be more open and honest in what they are feeling in the moment and let men know. Maria says that women need to come to men from a space of vulnerability and authenticity. When women charge at their partners from their ego and triggers, it does not help anything.
When we are feeling triggered, sitting with it and tuning into the foundational emotion is key. This is usually something from your childhood and you have to take responsibility for your triggers. Then you can be honest with someone and say “This really hurt because of xyz”. If you want a healthy relationship it starts with you.
Self-realization and getting clear on what we want
Maria shares that it is important to get clear and concise on what we want from a place of wholeness. If we do not do that, then we will keep attracting the same people. It is time to break the cycle and take ownership of our patterns. Celeste shows how important it is to reflect and get to the root of our triggers and patterns.
Long-distance relationships
It was really important for Maria to not lose herself in her relationship. This has happened to her so many times in the past and she wanted to break that pattern by being slow and steady with this relationship. If you are in a long distance relationship, you both have to be on the same page and have open communication about what you desire.
Maria’s favorite date
Maria shares that her first official date with her current partner was her favorite date. They had great banter and it felt light and airy. She shares that when you are around the right person, you do not feel nervous and your nervous system is not activated and that is important.
Connect with Maria:
Embracing Personal Growth for a More Fulfilling Life with Maria Fuentes
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