I have seen debates arguing that women want an alpha male and men now are more beta males. What does that mean? Some men believe that they have to take the lead and be in charge of everything and show ZERO feelings (Alpha). Other men believe that you can create a partnership between males and females and men should be able to show their feelings (Beta). 

What do you think? Let’s go over some points of today’s society and figure out which one the ladies prefer. 

Showing emotions

Something important for men to understand is that showing vulnerability is not weak. No, I don’t mean that you have to break down and have a full-blown crying session in front of your girlfriend/wife. Just know that it’s ok to be upset about a situation and for your partner to see that emotion.  

The narrative that men shouldn’t cry or be vulnerable is so deeply ingrained in our society that the men that show emotions (in a healthy way) are considered to be more beta males and not the traditional alpha males.

A woman that faults you for being human and having human emotions is not someone you should be with.  

Being a Leader

We all know that a “man’s role” is the be the “leader” and a “protector.” This is the traditional way of being. This used to mean that a man should provide an income, make the rules of the relationship, and be in charge of the trajectory of the relationship.  

But is it necessary? It’s hard to say. 

Times have changed so much and our societal values have changed. (or is trying to change) It’s becoming more normal for women to be in positions of power and be without a man. Women are more than capable of taking care of themselves, this we know for sure. Some women just prefer to have their own careers, and their own income, and some want the exact opposite. 

So is what I am saying giving you any more insight? Probably not. I am trying to say that the roles of a household/relationship look different now and you both can come to an understanding as to what tasks/roles you want to take on in a relationship. 

I will point out that most women do like confident men who are in control of their own lives. It’s more attractive, now more than ever, to know basic life skills like cooking, cleaning, and emotional regulation. A man who is in control of his own life will have no issues finding a woman who is willing to follow his lead.

This is what really makes you a leader.

Personal Preference

Sometimes it just comes down to what you like and what you dislike. Some women want a man to be in charge and be in a traditional relationship. There is nothing wrong with that. Some women want a man who can talk about their feelings and take turns making important life decisions. There is nothing wrong with that. 

It’s the same as having a personal preference for what you like in the bedroom. Not every woman wants a man to take the lead, some women may want to tie you up and rock your world in their own way (which you may also enjoy if you give it a chance haha). Does this make you a beta male for liking this? I’ll answer that for you…NO, it doesn’t! 

It all comes down to values. What do you value? what do you want your girlfriend/wife to value? What are your life goals? Etc. Find someone who has similar values to you. Whether you are in the dating scene or thinking about jumping back in, it’s important to think about this and know what kind of person you are looking for.   

Final Thoughts

You are no less of a man if you cry, you are no more of a man if you make more money, and every man should be tied up by a woman at least once in their life.

The term beta male or alpha male doesn’t change the fact that you are a man. You are free to be who you want to be as an individual and as a partner in a relationship. Communicate who you are and what you want in a relationship and you will attract the right person for you.