Dating someone who is introverted doesn’t mean they don’t know how to have fun. All it means is that they will have to recharge their batteries in between social outings. 

Think of it like this. Everyone has a social battery. An extrovert needs socializing and human connection to charge their battery. Introverts need time alone to charge their battery because their battery depletes when they are around others.

Here are a few dating tips if you are involved with an introvert… 

Don’t try to change them- they are who they are and trying to change their habits will only result in them feeling drained and needing even more alone time. They like being introspective and having time to reflect. Try to become a safe place for them to open up and share their comfort space with you. 

Take them on appropriate dates- a dating nightmare for an introvert would be bringing them to a loud nightclub with tons of your work friends they have never met. Introverts don’t often share personal stories about themselves with someone they just met. So bringing them to a crowded area that is loud with people they don’t know could be overwhelming. Instead, try going on a hiking date, an intimate dinner, or even meeting a few friends but maybe limit it to two instead of your whole office. 

Learn to love the silence- like I mentioned introverts like to be introspective and to be alone. So watching Netflix or reading a book is what that can look like. It could even take a day or two after a big outing for them to feel like themselves again or have more energy. So you should learn to like your alone time too or find others ways to fill your time while your introvert is recharging their batteries. 

Don’t always remind them they are quiet- This one goes with the last point but I made it separate because in a social setting an extroverted person will almost always point out that an introvert is being quiet or shy. Even if this is the case, you don’t need to always say this to them. They know they are observers and many of them aren’t actually shy. Once they get comfortable and find a topic they care about they might have a hard time being quiet. 

Don’t Panic- someone who is introverted may straight up disappear for a period of time. DO NOT take this personally. Sometimes they just check out of socializing altogether and need a break from everything. They may feel like they have been removed from a situation for like 3 days when really it’s been 3 weeks. Be patient and know that this is how they like to live.    

A relationship between an extrovert and an introvert may take a bit of compromise and understanding on both sides. You both have to realize you need different things to feel happy as individuals. The best thing you can do is communicate your needs and check in with each other often.

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Dating an Introvert- The How-to Guide

November 2, 2022